


The first TIme

by WritingStag



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F, details from this fic taken from real history
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-30 03:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16756762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingStag/pseuds/WritingStag
Summary: Both Kassandra and Aspasia have different views on the words I love you.





	The first TIme

Kassandra lounged by the windows, entirely naked except for the cloth she’d wrapped around her waist. Her eyes were closed, her face tipped towards the sun as she breathed slowly. Aspasia sat at her desk, the shuffling of documents and tablets the only sound.

The door opened and a servant entered, timidly bowing to Aspasia, her face flushing a vibrant red when she caught sight of Kassandra and keeping her eyes locked onto the floor as she entered, setting the fresh water, rags and wine by Kassandra. “The…. The Things you requested ma’am.” She stuttered before turning and darting from the room. Kassandra cracked an eye open, the hint of a smile on her lips.

“I was unaware I made your servants so nervous.” Kassandra said, sitting up and stretching lightly, winching when it aggravated the wide array of cuts and shallow stab wounds.

“I would assume anyone would be nervous around such a dangerous woman, especially in such a state.” Aspasia replied, smirking but not lifting her head.

Kassandra snorted. “I’m naked, what exactly would I do to them?” She paused before turning to Aspasia and shaking her head. “No, No I don’t want you to answer that.” Aspasia closed her mouth but still smirked, quirking one eyebrow. Had she been a lesser woman she likely would have added an obscene gesture, but as it was, she did not.

Ignoring the slight ooze of blood, Kassandra leaned over and dunked several rags in the fresh and cool water, wringing them out and pouring herself some wine before she resumed her reclined position, laying the rags over the multitude of wounds, sighing in contentment as the cool cloth eased some of the pain. The wounds were all shallow and the best thing for them was simply to clean them and let them heal. It should only be a scant few days before she could resume her work.

Aspasia finally finished with her work, stacked her documents and cleared her desk before coming over, taking the wine from Kassandra and taking a sip as she trailed her fingers along her bare leg. Kassandra said nothing but watched her with a rare soft look on her face. “Remind me again why you thought fighting pirates off without your armor on was a good idea?” Kassandra rolled her eyes and with a gentle tug brought Aspasia to her side, slinging one arm around her shoulders.

“I never claimed I thought it was a good idea, I told you that’s what happened.”

“Then remind me why you weren’t wearing it in the first place.” Aspasia replied, tracing her fingers along Kassandra’s chest, careful to avoid the rags and the smaller cuts that weren’t covered.

“Because, I had to dive down and find the chest with the necklace in it. I would have drowned had I worn it. When I surface Pirates were attacking my crew. They had it under control but I still needed to get back on the ship.”

“They couldn’t have been very good pirates then.”

Kassandra laughed. “No, they weren’t, most of these are from one fellow, half blind I swear with how off his aim was, the worst he did was graze me.” Aspasia hummed and said nothing more, settling more fully against the mercenary. Some minutes passed in contented silence before Kassandra cleared her throat, the action almost sounding nervous. “Aspasia.”

She hummed in response, letting her know she was listening.

Her chest stuttered, and Aspasia propped herself up on one elbow to see Kassandra’s face. She looked pained, her jaw working as she tried to find the words. Eventually she seemed to give up and drew Aspasia into a kiss, pressing close and cupping her jaw. “I… I love you.” She murmured against her lips.

Aspasia smiled and drew away from the kiss to stroke Kassandra’s face. “I’m sure you do.” Kassandra frowned and Aspasia kissed her forehead before getting up, stretching. “I have a few hours before I must meet with my next client, would you like to sit down to a late lunch with me?” She asked and she languidly made her way to the door.

When Kassandra didn’t answer Aspasia turned and found Kassandra a few feet from her, a heavy frown marring her features.

“Do you not believe me when I say I…care for you?” Kassandra stumbled over the words and Aspasia turned fully to meet her. They stood a few feet apart, both frowning and confused by the other.

“I never claimed I didn’t” Aspasia replied carefully, trying to catch Kassandra’s eyes who doggedly avoided her gaze.

“Your tone would suggest so.” Kassandra’s expression shifted and she looked deeply pained before she masked it with confusion.

Taking one step closer Aspasia reached out to touch her. Kassandra didn’t flinch away but she didn’t respond either. “Kassandra, I’m sure you care for me, but love is…” She trailed off, trying to find the right word to convey her intentions. “Love is a strong word.” Aspasia finished lamely.

Kassandra tilted her head, her lips a thin line as she surveyed Aspasia. “Do you know the first thing they teach Spartans?” She asked, confusing Aspasia with the seemingly random question.

“To ignore and never feel fear.” Kassandra smiled, but it was a pained and harsh thing, devoid of joy.

“Close, it’s to never feel or express love. Because love is weakness and a Spartan can never be weak.” Kassandra’s smile had turned practically wolfish, all teeth, and Aspasia couldn’t help but think of a wolf, snarling and growling, hiding it injured leg behind it, doing it best to scare off the threat and knowing full well it was unable defend itself.

“Kassandra.” Aspasia tried, reach out for Kassandra, something in her chest snapping when she pushed her hand away, none too gently.  She didn’t say anything else, just pushed passed the aristocrat, leaving without a word.  Aspasia stood frozen for a moment, her heart pounding and the mental image of Kassandra, looking for all the world like a heartbroken little girl, seared into her mind forever.

~

Kassandra didn’t return for three days. Aspasia had no idea where she’d gone. She heard rumors from her guards stationed outside that she was still on Naxos, but no solid confirmation was made. Over those three days Aspasia got very little done. At first she hadn’t understood what Kassandra was trying to tell her by explaining the rules of Sparta, but around noon of the second day, it had clicked. Kassandra had been raised Spartan, the tenants of the Spartan way had been drilled into her for 12 years. She had been firmly taught that love was weakness, to not feel it. She was telling Aspasia how hard it was to say those three little words, and she had told Kassandra she didn’t believe her. The first time, in however many years, maybe for the first time ever, she had admitted she loved, and Aspasia had shut her down. No wonder she had left. After that realization Aspasia sent a few people out to discreetly find Kassandra, if she was still on Naxos. If she wasn’t, well it would be much harder to find her, but not impossible. Aspasia was woman of means after all.

In the afternoon of the third day one of her people reported back. Kassandra was still on Naxos, taking odd jobs here and there and when she wasn’t doing that, she was hiding out at the cove she’d taken Aspasia to for some relaxation and a short swim. Aspasia thanked her scout and quickly dismissed them, already heading for the stables.

She spent the trip going over what she wanted to say. Words usually came easily but nothing felt right, too callous, too indirect, too disaffected. Before she knew it she was at the cove. Dismounting she picked her way along the rocks until they gave way to white sandy beaches. Like the scout had reported, it was obvious Kassandra was spending her free time here. Phobos rested in the shade and watched her approach the small cave, making Aspasia feel like she was being judged. Reaching the mouth of the Cave, Aspasia found it empty. Evidently Kassandra was not here. She was in the middle of looking for a place to settle down and wait when Kassandra’s voice rang out behind her, sounding… not quite angry but clearly displeased.

“I thought we were past spying on me.” She snorted derisively, walking up the beach, completely naked and dripping wet, clearly fresh from the sea. She wrung the water from her hair and pushed past Aspasia, grabbing a towel and beginning to dry herself, not even sparing a glance at Aspasia.   


“I’m sorry, I was starting to think you wouldn’t return to the villa.” Kassandra didn’t say anything and Aspasia felt the guilt bubble up into her chest again. “I’m….” Aspasia faltered, the words and things she’d wanted to say all vanishing now that she was actually speaking to the woman. “Has anyone told you about what it was that I did before I met and married Perikles?” She blurted. Kassandra straightened, giving Aspasia a look of confusion.

She shook her head no and turned back to drying herself. “no, and I don’t see what it matters when-“

“I was a prostitute.” Aspasia interjected, watching as Kassandra tied the towel around her waist and flinched slightly, looking less angry and confused now, an unidentifiable emotion flitting across her face. Her hair was loose and dripped slowly down her chest and Aspasia made herself turn away and stop staring. “It wasn’t entirely by choice, but it was better than being married off just for security. I had my freedom at the very least.” Aspasia shrugged, trying to keep her voice level, feeling vulnerable and exposed like she never had before.

  “Countless men told me they loved me. Brought me gifts and told me how much they cared for me. But the reality is, a man will say anything he thinks you want to hear when he is between your legs and pushing you for more than you’re willing to give.” Aspasia couldn’t help the hallow laugh that escaped her. “The ‘I love yous’ that men and women both give as a platitude for you to debase yourself for their pleasure mean less than nothing.”  Aspasia wrapped her arms around herself. “I love you lost it’s meaning for me a very long time ago. Perikles… Cared for me, of that I have no doubt but I’d be a fool to think he loved me.” She paused, sucking in a breath, her voice losing its composure with each word. “I shouldn’t have implied you don’t love me, I have no idea how you feel about me now, but when you said it I know you cared for me, deeply. I don’t tell you this to excuse my words, but to explain them. I stopped believing those words would ever be said truthfully a very long time ago.” Kassandra said nothing and Aspasia fought the tears in her eyes, refusing to let them fall. “And I think…” she choked on a sob and her shoulders shook. “I think I didn’t want to hear you say those words to me because it means you…” She couldn’t finish, the tears she’d caging in for too long spilling over. 

She hadn’t come here to cry and beg Kassandra’s forgiveness, she’d only wanted to explain herself. She hadn’t realized how much her past haunted her.  Kassandra was silent still and Aspasia pressed her hand to her mouth, willing the awful sounds she was making to stop. “I apologize that my behavior caused you pain. I’ll leave you now.”

Shakily she made to leave the cave, the tears blurring her vision. She couldn’t return looking as she did now, no, she would ride further down the beach and release her emotions before getting her mask back in place and heading back to the estate. Kassandra’s hand on her arm stopped her, fingers curling around her bicep and gently tugging her, urging her to turn and face to woman. When she did Kassandra, immediately pulled her into a hug, one hand on the small of her back and the other cupping the back of her head. “I didn’t know.” Kassandra whispered.

“No one does.” Aspasia mumbled, face pressed into the crook of her neck.

“Do you believe I’m just using you? Or that I think you’re just someone to warm my bed?” Kassandra asked, stroking her hair and holding her close.

“No.”

Kassandra placed either hand on the sides of her face and tipped it up so their eyes met. “Will you believe me if I say it again?”

Aspasia hesitated, eventually settling on the most honest answer she could offer. “I want to.”

Kassandra nodded and guided her into a soft kiss, her lips moving softly against her own, the kiss was soft and tender and Aspasia couldn’t help but melt into it. “I love you.” Kassandra murmured, their lips brushing as she spoke.

Aspasia pressed closer, pulling Kassandra into her body as much as she could, the press of bare skin intoxicating. “I... love you too.” She whispered back, the words feeling right as she breathed them into existence.

Kassandra continued to kiss her, her hands slipping from her face down to her hips and holding her like she was fragile and precious. “I forgive you. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did.”

“Don’t apologize, it was a very understandable reaction, especially once I figured out why you’d reacted so strongly.”

“Still, I am sorry, we’ve both caused each other pain.”

“As am I, perhaps in the future we can strive to do better.” Aspasia said, her fingers skimming up Kassandra’s sides and spine, drawing shivers from her.

“I think that’s a good idea.” Kassandra replied. “now, would you like to stay here or head back?”

“Here, I think it’ll be good to lay with you for a while.” Kassandra nodded and softly kissed her forehead before lacing their fingers together and leading her back to the pile of blankets and pillows she used as a bed.


End file.
